Saturday, April 14, 2018

2018 State of the Union Cliff Notes

Every start of the year, the President of the United States meets with both houses of Congress to discuss where we’ve been as a country, and where we’re going as a country.  This, of course, is the State of the Union address. This year, I wanted to simply watch the speech and write down my thoughts as it happened. And so, presented to you in the bullet points below, are my cliff notes, taken down LIVE as Trump spoke to both houses.  (It was fairly simple to keep up in between the massive amounts of clapping after almost EVERY PAUSE; historically, a recurring annoyance during this speech.)

One of the first people I see walking in tonight is former WWE CEO Linda McMahon.  Let’s hope she doesn’t break a hip (or a castor) getting to her seat.

Mostly curious to hear about Trump’s comments on immigration, the economy, and what’s on the horizon.

Who can forget the time he shaved Mr. McMahon bald in Detroit at WrestleMania 23?  I was live to witness the proceedings.

Trump not getting as much applause as Obama; Congress is split so far down the middle on the DACA issue (and many others, quite frankly) that it’s like the Grand Canyon

Taking bets on whether or not the word “shithole” comes up during tonight’s speech

The coif is looking good tonight; props on the makeup department

It always amazes me how these guys in Congress clap so damn much when, deep down, we all know at least one of them wants to do a run-in with a steel chair.

Wearing black to show unity for victims of sexual assault; my stomach just churned.

Paul Ryan starts to say “prevented”, but then corrects himself; gonna chalk that up as a goof, nothing more.  Y’all take that for what it’s worth.

Swift action already taken during the first months of the Administration; can’t argue with him there

Stand and applause; duck-face

Mentions of Hurricane Harvey, the Las Vegas Shooting; veteran in the house tonight, one of the first responders during Harvey

Firefighter David Dolberg gets a shoutout for his efforts fighting the California wildfires

Now, what are you boneheads gonna do to make sure first responders like Ashley and David continue to get paid?

Congressman Steve Scullius from Louisiana took a bullet and came back to work 3 months later; I would’ve filed for workman’s comp

“I think they like you, Steve.”  Trump’s attempt at a quick joke. No problem here

Trump seeking Dems and Reps to come together not only in times of tragedy, but here and now...good luck.

Nancy Pelosi stone-faced and not clapping at all.  Good to know where her loyalties lie.

The State of our Union is strong because our people are maybe THEY should start running things

2.4 million new jobs created (OK, what kinds of jobs, and where?)

200,000 new jobs in manufacturing alone (again, where?)

Rising wages after years as stagnation

Unemployment claims have hit a 45 year low

Black unemployment is the lowest ever recorded

Mexican unemployment have also reached the lowest levels in history

So what about all the homeless people?

Small business confidence is as high as ever (and I wonder how Linda McMahon is involved?)

Propping himself for the big tax reform bill passed before the start of the year...gotta admit, I’m kinda stunned they did WHY can’t they figure out immigration?!

Standard deduction doubled for everyone

$24,000 earned by a married couple is tax-free

Doubled child tax credit

$2000 less for $75K yearly salary cuts tax bill in half……..maybe I’m not that good at math, but I can’t see it

Individual mandate for health insurance gone from Obamacare

Bernie Sanders is also stone-faced; somehow, Socialism still seems to be the answer

$4000 increase a year is pretty good if you want something to hold your dick with...I’ll have to do some research

Must be hard being the only black man within a 2 mile radius; he seems unfazed

$350 billion to be invested by Apple in America, and more workers to be hired

More duck face

Exxon Mobil $50 billion investment; maybe to finish cleaning off the Alaska coastline?

If you work hard, and believe in yourself, you can dream anything, and be anything…...lot of people have said that over the years, but many people still work hard for nothing

We all share the same American flag….you mean the one that some people try to burn in front of veterans in this country?

Faith and family, not government and bureaucracy, are the center of America...I beg to differ

Shout out to police and veterans, who deserve our support….SO PUT THE AMVETS AD IN THE SUPER BOWL!

Preston Sharp noticed veterans graves were not adorned with American flags…..I didn’t know that was supposed to be standard protocol.  Who was sleeping at the wheel?

He’s sitting RIGHT NEXT to Meliana….nope, not gonna make that joke

Stand for the National Anthem; shots fired on the NFL and the protesters

HALF of Congress remained seated during that wide pan….holy shit

And ANOTHER wide pan with a 50/50 stand/sit ratio

OK, there’s more clapping going on than I care for at this point; it’s starting to get old

1,500 people lost their jobs for being shitty to our veterans, gonna hire better ones; that’s pretty scary; so, what does it mean to fail, exactly?

Remove Federal employees that undermine trust…...Maybe they’re getting behind removing Trump?

Regulation rollback…...the last time that happened, Bush Jr. and friends put the economy in the shitter

There was a war on American energy and coal?  Must have missed the memo

Chrysler is moving back to Michigan, and Toyota and Mazda are opening plants in Alabama… there will be opportunities abound to steal resources for Alabama’s many trailers

Bets on whose knees blow out first by standing and sitting so much, being taken now!

Terminally ill people need access to experimental treatments immediately; OK, but how are you gonna do it?

Reduce the price of prescription drugs; gooooood luck with that shit, holmes

Stabenow stands up; guess Dems want to lower drug prices, too!  (HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Carmella apparently knocked out the ref when trying to cash in her WMITB contract; somehow, this is more important than what’s happening in real life (it’s certainly more interesting, admittedly)

At least Sanders seems to agree with Trump’s desire to get people out of poverty; he just wants to share wealth with everyone

Open vocational schools!

Support paid family leave...don’t they already do this with FMLA?

Now we get to the good shit...immigration; let’s see where this goes

Families of slain girls, murdered by illegals, are here tonight

MS13 gang called out by name

Full house stands for the victims; all right, all right, but what will Dems response be in regards to DACA?

320 million hearts are breaking; last I checked, we had a hell of a lot more people in America

Trump claims his new legislation will ensure this will never happen again……..I highly doubt it.

I want our American kids to grow up and do great things… get them damn Mexicans out of our country!

Americans are Dreamers, too!  SHOTS FIRED!

Thousands of MS13 gang members have either been deported……..or are being fed 3 square meals in our fabulous prisons.

Trump urging Congress to send CJ reinforcements;

4 pillars: path to citizenship for 1.8 million illegals brought to America as children to become citizens over a 12 year period

Fully secures the border (gonna build the wall?  And get the Mexicans to pay for it?)

Close loopholes, and ends program of catch and release (horrible, dangerous practice)

Ends the Visa lottery; not too many people happy about that

Merit-based immigration system; skilled, who want to work, and contribute to society

End chain-migration; a single immigrant can bring in distant relatives (boos and hisses); focus on immediate family (spouses and minor children)

Get the job done!  And more duck face

Much tougher on drug-dealers and pushers to curb the opioid epidemic (does that mean the crooked doctors, too?!)

End dangerous defense sequester; otherwise known as keeping the government open

ISIS on its heels; apparently he, too, disagreed with the Ted Cruz approach, and thank God for that

Justin Peck is a goddamn hero; let’s hope he don’t have any skeletons in the closet!

Terrorists are UNLAWFUL ENEMY COMBATANTS.  Don’t quite remember Obama making that claim

He’s keeping Guantanamo Bay open; not sure what to think about that, since Obama wanted it closed

We no longer tell our enemies our plans….so that shit was happening before?!

Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel;

Tough sanctions on Cuba and Venezuela

And now we’re on to North Korea;

Story about that one dumbass that got arrested in North Korea; I don’t feel sorry for Otto; he should have known that those people don’t fuck around

Story of the North Korean defector; you know he’s shitting his pants knowing Kim Jong Un is watching and plotting his revenge

Light up the entire world?  I wouldn’t have used that phrase…..

USA chants breaking out!  But some dude walked out…...communist

Overall, I think he did a good job; surprising to hear he has one of the lowest approval ratings of any President in his first year; I wonder who’s to blame for that?

No mention of the Russia investigation or the Memo; he’s supposed to release the Memo as soon as his speech is done.

Let’s just keep following his Twitter...THERE’S the real source of truth!  *eye roll*

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